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How's it going today buddy?? Ok, let's see- I've got to this 2 weeks by keeping a strong mind by listening to what the 75 day program entitles. I read my day, and then I post just like you did the other day. And then I listen to an audio everyday. And I will most certainly be here for you to try my best to answer any questions you might have, and to support you in any way that I can.
Remember that knowledge is power, the more you learn about your crack addiction, the more clear minded you will become. What really helped me, was getting over the "hump", which you say that your hump is 4 days. Everything in life gets easier in time, but also remember that if you do nothing, than NOTHING will happen. Well, maybe not nothing, but nothing good at all. I've realized in my recovery, that just wanting to quit smoking crack isn't enough. I realized that making solid commitments to yourself, like no money, not holding on to ANY cash will take away a lot of the stranglehold that the devil has on you. So my solid commitments were no money, no truck when I got home from work, and on the weekends, I parked it, and giving your keys to your wife would be a good decision.
This program entitles things that I did not want to do, or still do not, but you have to ask yourself, are you willing to do whatever it takes to attack crack??? Cause like I said, it's gunna feel like your manhood is being stripped from you. I didn't like that at first, but then I realized that I'd rather be temporarily stripped of my manhood, than be a crack head all my life. That's what it really boils down to, do you want to be a crackhead all of your life??? No, right. So what are you gunna do to stop yourself from staying a crackhead?? Being a crackhead all of you life- that's pitiful, and overcoming your crack addiction and beating the devil at his own game, now that's powerful!! I don't know about you, but I want to be powerful.
Basically to work this program correctly, you have to do a lot of things that
you do not want to do. Shoot, you think that I want to go to Trosa, which is in Durham, N.C. no, I don't. But I realize that's what working a program is all about. Make commitments, and stick to them. You are darn lucky to still have your wife by your side, because as a result of crack use, a lot of relationships have gone down the drain. Andrew, you totally have my support, and I want to thank you for taking the time to read my posts. This program 75 days, is a self help program, so no one will, or can do it for you, so you have to be strong. Keep your eye on the prize, and never get sidetracked, cause the devil will really try to do that to you. And NEVER EVER GIVE UP. That's for quitters, and for the weak minded. You have 5 children, and a wife, use that as a guide to help you. But you have to do it for yourself, because if you aren't ready and willing to do whatever it takes to stop the madness, than you never will. You have so much to live a good life for. I hear about crackhead prostitutes getting clean, so if they can do it, than we most certainly have a great chance at a manageable healthy, crack free life. I myself am sick of having the devil in my thoughts, and there's only one way to get him out of there, knowledge is power!!
Believe in yourself, believe that you can do this, know you can. Every time you have a negative thought, just replace it with a good one. Start breaking your life down, really look at it, and you will say, "holy moly", realize what crack has taken from you, and then tell yourself that crack cannot have NOTHING ELSE !! Don't feed the fire, and if you do, you're gunna get burned, that's a certainty. Don't go through this program lightly, attack, attack, attack, cause that's what the devil is doing to you- so you have to fight back twice as hard. When you try to get over your hump, and fail, I seriously would recommend enrolling in a place where you aren't even able to get to crack, where the devil cannot get to you, impatient program.
It's your life, no one can stop the madness but you. How bad do you want it?? How, and what you do with your program will determine how much you want a life without crack. Ask yourself, do you want to think for yourself, or do you want thought of the devils shenanigans consuming your thoughts every day of your life for the rest of your life. What really helped me in the beginning, was being able to call myself a CRACKHEAD.
It's true, the more the devil has control of you, the more powerful that word becomes, you have to be able to call yourself a crackhead, cause if you smoke crack, you are a crackhead. When you look in to the mirror, look directly into your eyes, and tell yourself, "Andrew, you are a crackhead" and see what comes of that. For me, at 1st, I really didn't want to do it, but I did and it helped me see the light, it was as if someone knocked some sense in to me. Try it, see what happens. So in a nutshell, believe in yourself, learn to love yourself again, and remember- Do nothing and nothing will happen. Always here for ya' John
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